Well Words Wednesday: The Helene Perch - A Different View
08 14 2025
Just outside my front window stands a beautiful tree that attracts a variety of birds. In spring and summer, the green leaves on the branches provide a shady respite for the birds from the heat of the noonday sun. In the winter, the birds still flock to this tree, now barren, to soak up the warmth of the sun on a chilly day. Last September, Hurricane Helene struck our neighborhood with quite a force, pounding us with heavy rains and strong wind. I was worried about how our trees would fare, but we were one of the fortunate ones, only losing some limbs and branches. After a few days of cleanup, I noticed a large branch had broken off and was wedged in the crook of my favorite front yard tree. It resembled a manufactured perch in a birdcage, only larger. Initially my thought was to ask my husband if he could climb a ladder and remove the wayward limb. However, within the week, I began to take notice of how the birds seemed to enjoy this perch. Oddly, it had positioned itself in the crook of the tree at a perfect right angle to the trunk. Now, rather than viewing the limb as an annoyance, “sticking” out like a sore thumb, I began to view it as a blessing that had emerged out of the devastation of a strong storm. I had no doubt that the birds felt the same way.
How often do we get fixated on our perception of circumstances? Let us say we wake up in the middle of the night to a noise. Immediately your brain begins to size up the situation. If you determine this could be a threatening situation, your brain will focus on those types of thoughts. Everything you see or hear, such as shadows on the wall or scratching noises at your window, points to a threat. Your brain chooses to focus all its thoughts and feelings on the fear of an intruder. You scramble for your flashlight and turn it on. You are quickly relieved to discover that the shadow and the noise were made by branches swaying in the wind hitting your windows. The imagined intruder in the corner of your room was the coat you had draped over the corner of your full-length mirror last night. In the blink of an eye, or flashlight, your whole perception changes.
How we perceive a situation or thought is not necessarily based on reality or the truth of the situation. Have you ever heard the old saying “You see what you want to see?” We tend to interpret information in a way that confirms our existing beliefs and disregards contradictory evidence. For example, if you tend to view the world with the lens of perfectionism, or the desire to avoid pain, or in anticipation of the worst-case scenario, or the desire to avoid conflict then your brain gets wired to view circumstances through that type of filter. Your brain may begin to distort reality by focusing on the type of information it thinks you want. Your default mode begins to replay the thoughts, stories, and predictions you have been feeding it. Your internal narrative interprets situations through your habitual lens, even when that may not always reflect reality.
Our brains have different areas with specialized functions that work together to make decisions about what to pay attention to and how to feel and react. There is an area of our brain that allows us to pause and choose our perception, rather than just immediately react. When we are caught up in negative, self-defeating thoughts, we can pause, reflect, and choose differently. This shift is referred to as the Subject-Object Theory of Adult Development by Robert Kegan. It states that when we are subject to something, it controls us because we are unaware of it. It is invisible to us. When we make it visible and the object of our attention, we can reflect and take action to change it. The shift from being unaware of a negative thought or faulty belief to becoming aware and taking action to control it can be very transformative.
The next time you feel anxious, overwhelmed, sad, or insecure, take time to identify what thought provoked the feeling. Often, we are not consciously aware of the thoughts behind our feelings. Training yourself to identify negative feelings and the thoughts that provoke them will become a habit the more you do it. Ask if the thought is based on facts or could it be a distorted perception. Try to reframe by asking if there is another interpretation. The more you practice this, the more you will be able to shift your negative thoughts and feelings into more of a positive light. Taking a different view can bring about many rewards and improve your mental and emotional wellbeing. Start practicing and developing this healthy habit today. Keep your eyes open for your own “Helene Perches.” Next month we will reflect on how these practices are supported by scripture and our faith.
